Late Night THOUGHTS.

Just had the feeling of writing down my thoughts and expressing myself through words. The NEW YEAR is soon approaching and that’s wild to me. I feel like 2017 just went ahead and came and went. This year was a roller coaster for me. So many changes physically, mentally and emotionally. I lost some and gained some but I always reminded myself that this too shall pass. I am learning to become less dependent on others for emotional stability. I CANNOT put my happiness in other people’s hands or even validation as well. I am such a fragile soul sometimes because I just want to give so much love and support to others but NEVER get the same in return.i have came to accept it. That I just cannot survive in this cruel ass world. My soul is too pure and full of life and love that I don’t belong honestly. Everyone else is just full of negativity, disrespect, disloyal, FAKE, bullshit. I want no parts. I swear I don’t...................... to be continued

FORGIVENESS.

Back at it again with my thoughts and being in my head.

 FORGIVENESS. So easy to spell but hard to do. Does everyone deserve forgiveness no matter how bad they did you? 2017 I really have been doing things out of my comfort zone. One of the things I am focusing on is forgiveness. I hold grudges and chris always tells me it's bad for my health. He wasn't lying. After I decided to FORGIVE two people in my life that have hurt me the most I actually feel lighter, my heart does feel less heavy, and I don't dwell on the events that led to the hurt. Granted you need to be mentally ready to forgive. Never should you force it or do it just because the person begs or others are telling you to forgive. That's something I had to learn. It's okay to take your time. Whether it is 1 year or 5 days or 20 years. It's weird because you never plan on the day coming but when it comes you just know. Like a switch goes off on your head and your emotions become sort of numb.

Growth is beautiful. And with growth comes forgiveness, maturity, patience (which I don't have yet) etc. this journey I am on to become the best ME I can ever be really has been amazing.

Don't get me wrong tho some people I can't find it in my heart to forgive so don't get it twisted. But if I forgave you it's because that person really meant/means the world to me ❤️

Savage Life...or NO life ?

So the new trend is to be a SAVAGE now huh, Rihanna done got everyone thinking not having emotions and being heartless is the "wave". Well guess what? You're truly only hurting yourself and others around you with this ignorant and dumb theory. Suppressing your emotions is not a healthy thing mentally and physically. I'm now becoming comfortable with showing my emotions. Being  a cancer is hard. I am so emotionally inclined/sensitive. I have been made fun of and bashed for being so sensitive and not "having tough skin" or "sucking it up". For 2017 I decided that I WASNT going to apologize anymore. Trying to be hardcore and emotionless about things or towards people that really take up a lot of my emotions wasn't doing me any good at all. As much as I want to be "that person" it's just not in my character and there's nothing wrong with that.

If more people showed how they truely felt about things, relationships, people it could have saved a lot of miscommunication or even relationships. It's nothing like someone being vulnerable and honest during a intense moment in life or between two people. So sad a lot of the generation to come can't relate because so early they are brought up to surpress it. I could get into how the rise of suicide is higher than ever now but I'll keep this light.....

Until next time earthlings 🤔

5 YEARS

WOW! 5 years....I last posted 5 years ago. And SO much has changed that I honestly don't think a blogpost would be enough to cover it all.  I have grown so much in 5 years. I came across this blog by accident via Facebook and when I read the posts I wanted to cry. To see how much I was feeling back then. I was heartbroken and a lost soul trying to see where I fit in this world and within my friendships, relationships and every day life. So now to see where I am now is mind blowing.

For starters what I can say is that I found true love. I read my post that I literally almost broke down crying to which was titled "TRUE (fake) LOVE. I felt like I took a time machine and was back in 2010. Dealing with one of the hardest things I had to deal with. Moving on from someone I didn't want to. When they say you can die from a broken heart I really was dying. Until my husband came and put my pieces back together. Slowly but surely.

But I won't get into too much deal with that, when the right time comes I'll talk more in depth about all of this. I am so happy to have found my blog again. I would love to start back on a maybe not daily but weekly maybe even posting twice a week on a lot of different topics. Nothing will be too personal on here.

With that being said, I am happy to be back...darlingbaby has encountered so many things these last 7 years that I cannot wait to write about 😊😀✨

Him .

I honestly don't know what I did in my past or present to have such a wonderful human being by my side. Nor am I complaining either, he's amazing I tell you. The biggest thing is being able to trust someone 100% no doubts or worries or second thoughts. Nd seeing that I had/have serious trust issues this doesn't even exsist with him. I'm not the easiest person to love but he loves me flaws and all, I can't be more grateful and thankful honestly. ❤️

STARTING OFF..

Its just something about this blog world that keeps me coming back I swear. Me and my husband (yes I am married now) were discussing blogs and a lightbulb went off in my head! I had the sudden urge to just come back and start fresh. I am N O T making ANY promises this time. Just going with the flow of things. Anyways, ALOT has changed these past couple of years and I couldnt be any happier soooo....Let The Blogging Continue (again) :)